Your Self-esteem

“Per­fect self-​​expression will never be labor; but of such absorb­ing inter­est that it will seem almost like play.“
– Flo­rence Scovel Shinn

In Suc­ceed­ing Through Inner Strength, Dr. Nathaniel Bran­den says that peo­ple uncon­sciously lower their self-​​esteem through their goals.

They usu­ally start by writ­ing down some neb­u­lous wish and may start work­ing on it with the best of inten­tions. They may even know exactly what they want and work really hard in order to get it. How­ever and more often than not, they quit and do so some­times just as fast as they have writ­ten it down.

They feel that their goal is unachiev­able, aban­don their efforts out of feel­ing belit­tled by such a lofty ambi­tion, or quit due to the accu­mu­la­tion of stress and frus­tra­tion they’ve acquired in the process. And the worst part is that they usu­ally ratio­nal­ize their deci­sion by refer­ring to the goal’s seem­ing unfea­si­bil­ity or, worse yet, to their inability.

They say things, like, “I knew I couldn’t do it,” “it’s not for me,” “I’m just not cut out for it,” “I’m not worth it,” and so on. Sel­dom do they know that the prob­lem has noth­ing to do with the goal in itself — or with them­selves, for that mat­ter. It’s in the “why,” not the “how.” It’s what they focused on to start with.

“Set­ting goals just isn’t enough,” Dr. Bran­den says. “Ask your­self: ‘What am I going to do next week in order to reach my goal? What about tomor­row? What about now?’ You must become con­sciously purposeful.”

The point is that you shouldn’t set a future goal and just leave it there. If you do that, I promise you that it will stay there. And the worst part is that it will, more often than not, take you away from your present moments.

Be mind­ful what’s impor­tant dur­ing every sin­gle moment of your life and not at some point in the future. In other words, make your pri­or­i­ties your goals and then make them a part of your life. Trans­late your pri­or­i­ties into activ­i­ties. Make your goals your “con­scious pur­poses,” as Dr. Bran­den says.

Peo­ple who live in a state of uncon­scious­ness set goals hap­haz­ardly and never achieve much. They let cir­cum­stances dic­tate their lives. They usu­ally work hard and long hours think­ing that their actions are some­how con­tribut­ing to what’s impor­tant when very often they really don’t have a clue. They’re the kinds of peo­ple who keep striv­ing but never seem to be arriving.

If you want to become truly suc­cess­ful, then be aware of what you do in the way of how impor­tant it really is to you. Trans­late what’s impor­tant in your life into what­ever you do. At the end of this book, I will teach you a sys­tem for help­ing you to do just that.

It’s called the GOAL sys­tem and it’s a sim­ple priority-​​setting tool that will help you to sys­tem­at­i­cally con­vert your val­ues into actions. But for now, sim­ply know that being con­gru­ent is the key to true success.

As a result, you will learn to love what you do or do what you love. You will raise your self-​​esteem and make your goals achiev­able. You will develop an appre­ci­a­tion for life as well as enhance your qual­ity of life. You will attract those things you so des­per­ately seek that have eluded you in the past. And most impor­tant, you will sleep bet­ter at night.

As an old proverb says, “A clear con­science makes for a soft pil­low.” Sim­ply, you will be arriv­ing rather than striving.

Nev­er­the­less, find out what’s impor­tant in your life and make it a part of your life right now. That’s what being con­sciously pur­pose­ful is all about. If you don’t know what you really want, then make that your con­scious purpose.

Under­stand that suc­cess, hap­pi­ness, pur­pose, and mean­ing are not things that you either find or achieve but bring to life. If you’re mind­ful of your pri­or­i­ties, you will also have greater peace of mind in what­ever you choose to do.

So, stop work­ing around your goals and start work­ing around your pri­or­i­ties. Goals don’t make you who you are. It is the essence of your goals or the things you value the most in life that make you who you are.

Your goals should be an expres­sion of your inner you, of how you want to feel right at this very moment, and not at some later time. As I said before, rather than dwelling on the past or focus­ing on the future you should be con­scious of your present moments.

If you love what you do or do what you love, not only will work seem like play but also suc­cess will flow to you in unex­pected ways. All that you require to reach your goals, all the skills, knowl­edge, atti­tudes, peo­ple, and expe­ri­ences you will need, will come to you automatically.

About the Author

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