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Written by Michel Fortin

The Seven Deadly Sins of Website Copy

Top seven mistakes websites makeThrough­out my research, I’m always sur­prised when I stum­ble onto web­sites that are pro­fes­sion­ally designed and seem to offer great prod­ucts and ser­vices, but lack or fail in cer­tain impor­tant elements.

Ele­ments that, with just a few short changes, can help mul­ti­ply the results almost instan­ta­neously.

Gen­er­ally, I have found that there are seven com­mon mis­takes. I call them the “Seven Deadly Sins.” Is your web­site com­mit­ting any one of these?

1) They Fail to Connect

Traf­fic has been long touted to be the key to online suc­cess, but that’s not true. If your site is not pulling sales, inquiries or results, then why would it need more traf­fic?

The key is to turn curi­ous browsers into seri­ous buy­ers. Aside from the qual­ity of the copy, the num­ber one rea­son why a web­site doesn’t con­vert is that the copy is tar­get­ing the wrong audi­ence or fails to con­nect with them.

First, cre­ate a “per­fect prospect pro­file.” List all the attrib­utes, char­ac­ter­is­tics and qual­i­ties of your most prof­itable and acces­si­ble market.

Don’t just stick with things like demo­graph­ics and psy­cho­graph­ics. Try to get to know them.

Who are they, really? What are their most press­ing prob­lems? What keeps them up at night? How do they talk about their prob­lems? Where do they hang out?

Then, tar­get your mar­ket by cen­ter­ing on a major theme, ben­e­fit or out­come so that, when you gen­er­ate pre-​​qualified traf­fic, your hit ratio and your sales will increase dramatically.

Finally, ensure that your copy con­nects with them. Inti­mately. It speaks their lan­guage, talks about their prob­lems, and tells sto­ries they can eas­ily appre­ci­ate and relate to.

Since this is the most com­mon error that mar­keters and copy­writ­ers com­mit, and to help you, fol­low the fol­low­ing formulas.

The OATH for­mula helps you to under­stand the stage of aware­ness your mar­ket is at. (How aware of the prob­lem are they, really?)

The QUEST for­mula guides you in qual­i­fy­ing and empathiz­ing with them. And the UPWORDS for­mula teaches you how to choose the appro­pri­ate lan­guage your mar­ket can eas­ily under­stand, appre­ci­ate and respond to.

2) They Lack a Compelling Offer

Mak­ing an offer you can’t refuse” seems like an old cliché, but don’t dis­count its rel­e­vance and power. Espe­cially in this day and age where most offers are so ane­mic, life­less, and like every other offer out there.

Too many busi­ness believe that sim­ply offer­ing a prod­uct or ser­vice, and men­tion­ing the price, are good enough. But what they fail to real­ize is that peo­ple need to inti­mately under­stand the full value (the real value and, more impor­tantly, the per­ceived value) behind the offer.

Some­times, all you need is to offer some pre­mi­ums, incen­tives and bonuses to make the offer more palat­able and hard to ignore. (Very often, peo­ple buy prod­ucts and ser­vices for the pre­mi­ums alone.)

Other times, you need to cre­ate what is called a “value buildup.”

(In fact, pre­mi­ums are not manda­tory in all cases, par­tic­u­larly when the offer itself is solid enough. But build­ing value almost always is.)

Essen­tially, you com­pare the price of your offer not with the price of some other com­pet­ing offer or alter­na­tive, but with the ulti­mate cost of not buy­ing — and enjoy­ing — your prod­uct or service.

This may include the price of an alter­na­tive. But “ulti­mate cost” goes far beyond price. Dan Kennedy calls this “apples to oranges” comparisons.

For exam­ple, let’s say you sell an ebook on how to grow bet­ter toma­toes. That might sound sim­ple, and your ini­tial incli­na­tion might be to com­pare it to other “tomatoe-​​growing” ebooks or viable alternatives.

But also look at the the time it took for you to learn the best ways to grow toma­toes. Look at the amount of money you invested in try­ing all the dif­fer­ent fer­til­iz­ers, seeds and tech­niques to finally deter­mine which ones are the best.

Don’t for­get the time, money and energy (includ­ing emo­tional energy) peo­ple save from not hav­ing to learn these by them­selves. Add the cost of doing it wrong and buy­ing solu­tions that are either more expen­sive or inappropriate.

That’s what makes an offer valu­able. One peo­ple can’t refuse.

3) They Lack "Reasons Why"

While some web­sites are well-​​designed and pro­vide great con­tent, and they might even have great copy, they fail because they don’t offer enough rea­sons for peo­ple to buy — or at least read the copy in the first place.

Vis­i­tors are often left clue­less. In other words, why should they buy? Why should they buy that par­tic­u­lar prod­uct? Why should they buy that prod­uct from that par­tic­u­lar site? And more impor­tant, why should they buy now?

What makes your prod­uct so unique, dif­fer­ent and spe­cial? What’s in it for your cus­tomers that they can’t get any­where else? Not answer­ing those ques­tions will deter clients and impede sales.

John E. Kennedy, a Cana­dian fire­man and copy­writer at the turn of the last cen­tury, talked a lot about the power of adding “rea­sons why.” His wis­dom still rings true to this day, and we know this from experience.

Once, my wife had a client whose web­site offered nat­ural supplements.

It offered a free bot­tle (i.e., 30-​​day sup­ply). But response was abysmal. Aside from being in a highly com­pet­i­tive indus­try, the copy failed to allay the prospect’s fears. They thought it might be a scam or that there’s a catch.

So all she did was tell her client to add the fol­low­ing paragraph:

Why are we offer­ing this free bot­tle? Because we want you to try it. We’re so con­fi­dent that you will see vis­i­ble results within 30 days that you will come back and order more.”

Response more than tripled.

Sim­i­larly, add “rea­sons why” to your copy. To help you, make sure that it cov­ers all the bases by answer­ing the fol­low­ing “5 why’s:”

  • Why me? (Why should they lis­ten to you?)
  • Why you? (Who is per­fect for this offer?)
  • Why this? (Why is this prod­uct per­fect for them?)
  • Why this price? (Why is this offer so valuable?)
  • Why now? (Why must they not wait?)

4) They Lack Scarcity

Speak­ing of “why now,” this is prob­a­bly the most impor­tant rea­son of all.

A quote from Jim Rohn says it all, and I force myself to think about it each time I craft an offer. He said, “With­out a sense of urgency, desire loses its value.”

Peo­ple fear mak­ing bad deci­sions. With spams, scams and snake oils being ram­pant on the Inter­net, peo­ple tend to pro­cras­ti­nate, and they do so even when the copy is good, the offer is per­fect and they’re qual­i­fied for it.

Most web­sites I review fail to effec­tively com­mu­ni­cate a sense of urgency. If peo­ple are given the chance to wait or think it over, they will. Look at it this way: if you don’t add a sense of urgency, you’re invit­ing them to procrastinate.

Use take­away sell­ing in order to stop peo­ple from pro­cras­ti­nat­ing and get them to take action now. In other words, shape your offer — and not just your prod­uct or ser­vice — so that it is time-​​sensitive or quantity-​​bound.

More impor­tant, give a rea­son­able, log­i­cal expla­na­tion to jus­tify your urgency or else your sales tac­tic will be instantly dis­cred­ited. Back it up with rea­sons as to why the need to take advan­tage of the offer is pressing.

Plus, a sense of urgency doesn’t need to be an actual limit or a dead­line. It can be just a good, plau­si­ble and com­pelling expla­na­tion that empha­sizes the impor­tance of act­ing now — as well as the con­se­quences of not doing so.

For exam­ple, what would they lose out on if they wait? Don’t limit your­self to the offer. Think of all the neg­a­tive side-​​effects of not going ahead right now.

5) They Lack Proof

Speak­ing of the fear of mak­ing bad deci­sions, today’s con­sumers are increas­ingly leery when con­tem­plat­ing offers on the Internet.

While many web­sites look pro­fes­sional, have an eth­i­cal sales approach, and offer proven prod­ucts or ser­vices, the lack of any kind of tan­gi­ble proof will still cause most vis­i­tors to at least ques­tion your offer.

The usual sus­pects, of course, are tes­ti­mo­ni­als and guar­an­tees. Guar­an­tees and tes­ti­mo­ni­als help to reduce the skep­ti­cism around the pur­chase of your prod­uct or ser­vice, and give it almost instant credibility.

(I often refuse to cri­tique any copy that doesn’t have any tes­ti­mo­ni­als. It’s not just to save myself time and energy. I would be wast­ing my client’s money if the only rec­om­men­da­tion they got from me was to add testimonials.)

Ele­ments of proof is not just lim­ited to guar­an­tees and tes­ti­mo­ni­als, either.

They can include the story behind your prod­uct, your cre­den­tials, actual case stud­ies, results of tests and tri­als, sam­ples and tours, sta­tis­tics and fac­toids, pho­tos and mul­ti­me­dia, “seals of approval,” and, of course, rea­sons why.

Even the words you choose can make a dif­fer­ence. Because, in addi­tion to a sense of urgency, your copy also needs a sense of cred­i­bil­ity.

Today, peo­ple are under­stand­ably cyn­i­cal and sus­pi­cious. If your offer is sus­pect and your copy, at any point, gives any hint that it can be fake, mis­lead­ing, untrue, too good to be true, or too exag­ger­ated to be true…

… Then like it or not your response rate will take a nose dive.

So, help remove the risk from the buyer’s mind and you will thus increase sales — and, para­dox­i­cally, reduce returns as well. Plus, don’t just stick with the truth. You also need to give your copy the ring of truth.

To help you, fol­low my FORCEPS for­mula.

6) They Lack a Clear Call to Action

Answer this million-​​dollar, skill-​​testing ques­tion: “What exactly do you want your vis­i­tors to do?” Sim­ple, isn’t it? But it doesn’t seem that way with the many sites I’ve visited.

The KISS prin­ci­ple (to me, it means “keep it sim­ple and straight­for­ward”) is immensely impor­tant on the Inter­net. An effec­tive web­site starts with a clear objec­tive that will lead to a spe­cific action or outcome.

If your site is not meant to, say, sell a prod­uct, gain a cus­tomer or obtain an inquiry for more infor­ma­tion, then what exactly must it do? Work around the answer as specif­i­cally as possible.

Focus on the “power of one.” That is:

  • One mes­sage
  • One audi­ence
  • One out­come

If your copy tells too many irrel­e­vant sto­ries (irrel­e­vant to the audi­ence and to the advance­ment of the sale), you will lose your prospects’ atten­tion and interest.

If it tries to be every­thing to every­one (and is there­fore either too generic or too com­plex), you will lose your prospects completely.

And if you ask your prospects to do too many things (other than “buy now” or what­ever action you want them to take), you will lose sales.

Use one major theme. Make just one offer. (Sure, you can offer options, such as order­ing options or dif­fer­ent pack­ages to choose from. But nonethe­less, it’s still just one offer.)

Most impor­tant, pro­vide clear instruc­tions on where and how to order.

Aside from the lack of a clear call to action, ask­ing them to do too many things can be just as coun­ter­pro­duc­tive. The mind hates con­fu­sion. If you try to get your vis­i­tors to do too many things, they will do nothing.

Stated dif­fer­ently, if you give peo­ple too many choices, they won’t make one. So keep your mes­sage focused or else you will over­whelm the reader.

7) They Lack Good Copy

It may seem like this should be the num­ber one mistake.

While it’s still one of the top seven mis­takes, it’s last because the ones above take prece­dence. If you’re guilty of mak­ing any of the pre­vi­ous six mis­takes, in the end your sales will fal­ter no mat­ter how good your copy is.

Nev­er­the­less, lack­lus­ter copy that fails to invoke emo­tions, tell com­pelling sto­ries, cre­ate vivid men­tal imagery, and excite your prospects about your prod­uct or ser­vice is indeed one of the most com­mon rea­sons web­sites fail.

Top sales trainer Zig Ziglar once said, “Sell­ing is the trans­fer­ence of enthu­si­asm you have for your prod­uct into the minds of your prospects.”

Copy is sell­ing in print. There­fore, its job is no dif­fer­ent. In fact, since there’s no human inter­ac­tion that you nor­mally get in a face-​​to-​​face sales encounter, your copy’s job, there­fore, has an even greater responsibility.

It must com­mu­ni­cate that same enthu­si­asm that ener­gizes your prospects, excites them about your offer­ing and empow­ers them to buy.

Aside from infus­ing emo­tion into your copy, give your prospects some­thing they can under­stand, believe in and act upon. Like a trial lawyer, it must tell a per­sua­sive story, make an air­tight case and remove any rea­son­able doubt.

Above all, it must serve your prospect.

Many sites fail to answer a person’s most impor­tant ques­tion: “What’s in it for me?” They get so engrossed in describ­ing com­pa­nies, prod­ucts, fea­tures or advan­tages over com­peti­tors that they fail to appeal to the vis­i­tor specifically.

Tell the vis­i­tor what they are get­ting out of respond­ing to your offer. To help you, first write down a series of bul­lets. Bul­lets are cap­ti­vat­ing, pleas­ing to the eye, clus­tered for greater impact and deliver impor­tant benefits.

(They usu­ally fol­low the words “you get,” such as “With this prod­uct, you get.”)

But don’t just resort to appar­ent or obvi­ous ben­e­fits. Dig deeper. Think of the end-​​results your read­ers get from enjoy­ing your prod­uct or service.

Do what my friend and copy­writer Peter Stone calls the “so that” tech­nique. Each time you state a ben­e­fit, add “so that” (or “which means”) at the end, and then com­plete the sen­tence to expand further.

Let’s say your copy sells Ginko Biloba, a nat­ural sup­ple­ment that increases mem­ory func­tion. (I’m not a Ginko expert, so I’m guess­ing, here. Also, I’m being repetious for the sake of illus­tra­tion.) Here’s what you might get:

Ginko sup­ports healthy brain and mem­ory func­tions… so that you can be clear, sharp and focused… so that you can stay on top of every­thing and not miss a beat… so that you can be a lot more pro­duc­tive at work… so that you can advance in your career a lot faster… so that you can make more money, enjoy more free­dom, and have more job secu­rity… so that (and so on).

That could have turned another way depend­ing on the answer you give it, which is why it’s good to repeat this exer­cise. Here’s another example:

Ginko sup­ports healthy brain and mem­ory func­tions… so that you can decrease the risks of senil­ity, Alzheimer’s dis­ease, and other degen­er­a­tive dis­eases of the brain… so that you won’t be placed in a nurs­ing home… so that you won’t place the bur­den of your care on your loved ones… so that you can grow old with peace of mind… so that you can enjoy a higher qual­ity of life, espe­cially dur­ing those later years… so that (and so on).

Remem­ber, these are just exam­ples pulled off the top of my head. But if you want more help with your own copy, my FAB for­mula is a use­ful guide.

Bot­tom line, check your copy to see if you’re com­mit­ting any of these seven deadly sins. If you are, your prospects won’t for­give you. By not buy­ing, that is.

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