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The Blog as Dinner Table Conversation

I come from a family of 6 girls. When we sat around the dinner table, we had to raise our hands if we wanted to say something — not because we were repressed, but because we were almost irrepressible!

After a day of school and play, we were all busting with news, feelings, opinions and plans.

What a clever dad. His unwritten rules prevented chaos. They also gave Lesley, the comparatively shy one, her chance to talk.

• Rule 1: Take turns.
• Rule 2: Don’t be mean.
• Rule 3: Listen to others.
• Rule 4: Don’t hog more than your share of the time available.

Unrolling The Conversation Online

You can see where I’m going with this…

All copywriting is part of a conversation, especially on a blog. Even if you never get a single response, you are still speaking to readers. Smart copywriters are always, always aware of the effect they’re having on readers.

Strangely, Dad’s 4 simple rules for talking to my daughters work rather well on a corporate or marketing blog.

Rule 1: Take turns.

That’s what Michel is doing right here and now, inviting more guest contributors while he’s extra busy. Guest contributions are also a great idea for other reasons: a change of voice, new perspectives, alternative ideas, a sense of community.

Try it too when you are suffering from Blog Guilt. (”Oh no, I forgot to write a blog entry!”)

Rule 2: Don’t be mean.

Strong opinions are great. But if the overall tone of a marketing blog is mean-spirited and negative, many readers will be turned off. Aim for a positive, upbeat general tone. That means your occasional negative posting will be all the more powerful, and provoke debate.

Rule 3: Listen to others.

That’s one of the glories of the blog: other people can post comments. The big bonus: you can listen! Getting feedback is one of the prime goals of many marketing and corporate blogs.

For example, they learn what customers really think about a product. Then they can choose whether to incorporate some of those ideas when redeveloping.

But how do you get more than the standard 1% of your readers actively involved?

Try actually inviting them. Make it clear that you don’t know it all, or you may be wrong, or you need more information. Or take an unpopular stance. Or pick a topic that’s hot this very minute on the Web 2.0 circuit. Then ask for feedback because you really need it, not as a gimmick.

Reading other blogs — and quoting them — is also listening to others.

Other people are a primary source for your blog content. Bloggers self-sealed in a world of their own are rare. A non-listening blogger is barely a blogger at all.

Rule 4: Don’t hog more than your share of the time available.

Time is a big issue for blog-readers. They’re certainly not twiddling their thumbs, waiting for your next posting. Heaps are fiendishly busy at work, and yours is certainly not the only blog they read. (My friend Mary checks over 100 RSS feeds daily.)

Blog entries can be any length: long is fine, provided there’s no burble. However, to save your readers time, write a headline that’s concentrated, interesting, and long enough to be unique. Then get to the point in the first sentence.

That’s only courteous. Readers can instantly recognise whether they have already read the post, and whether they want to.

Where did you first learn about communication?

I could say that everything I know about communication, I learned around the family dinner table.

I know you’re into lifelong learning, or you wouldn’t be reading this. But I wonder whether you also acquired some fundamental rules of communication early in life… And if so, what were those rules?

And where did you learn them?

About the Author

Rachel McAlpine is a New Zealand writer and web content consultant, and author of the top-selling book, Web Word Wizardry. At CONTENTED.com you’ll find her blog, and a new self-study online course in 21st century business writing.

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Posted by Rachel McAlpine on August 6th, 2007. Filed in Articles, Contributions, Internet. Tagged as blog, Contributions, contributor, copywriter, Copywriting, dad, feedback, goal, guilt, Marketing, opinion, rule. Follow responses through the RSS feed. Leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

13 Replies to “The Blog as Dinner Table Conversation”

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1. 

   From Contented: content that makes people happy » Blog Archive » The blog as dinner table conversation

   [...] The blog as dinner table conversation You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site. [...]

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   Source Website August 10th, 2007

Comments

1. 

   From Michel Fortin

   Great question, Rachel.

   I learned English later in life. (My first tongue being French. Or, more specifically, Quebecois.) I learned a lot by reading and watching TV.

   But since I dove into sales at a very early age, I learned a lot more by studying sales trainers, reading “how-to” and self-help books (both written and audio books) in communications, and attending seminars to improve my selling skills.

   So I guess you can say that I learned my communication skills from… selling!

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 6th, 2007

2. 

   From Shahar

   As a kid, I learned that I needed to be ready before joining the adults at the dinner table. The kids in my family had to learn “good manners” at the table before sitting with the grown-ups.
   With blogs, I also think we should do the same. Read other blogs, participate, use feed readers, until we know enough to start writting our own.

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 6th, 2007

3. 

   From Tim

   When I was a kid my Dad ran a small veterinarian practice out of our house. He would call on me to give him a hand with a dog or cat…giving shots, etc. I mimicked how he communicated with his clients….being friendly, outgoing and reassuring.

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 8th, 2007

4. 

   From David Festenstein

   I really like the metaphor of the dinner conversation for a balanced two way exchange. In my work of coaching and training people to honour the areas you describe, when selling or simply exchanging ideas over the phone, I use the metaphor of a dance. A conversation where the individuals are truly in rapport is when they “dance with each other’s tone” to get the mutually desired outcomes for the call. Notice the next time you have a great telephone conversation how this can really apply!

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 9th, 2007

5. 

   From John Morris

   Great post, Rachel.

   As to your questions, I would say I learned my communication skills from selling, as well. My first real job was selling shoes in a very successful retail chain. They had a proven and tightly honed sales process and were very strict about following it to the “t”. So, I learned very quickly how to think in principles while talking… that is, what I was trying to accomplish with my conversation and how to get it done… and, to follow a process when communicating.

   Of course, that was to sell… from there, as a lifelong learner, it’s moved me now to education and inspiration… how to teach and inspire others. So, communication is big for me.

   I really appreciate your time with this post… and, relating your concepts back to simple examples we all can easily grasp.

   Thanks!!

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 9th, 2007

6. 

   From Rachel McAlpine

   What surprising answers — and good stories! Thank you!

   I’m reminded of a fascinating book I have just read: “Send in the Idiots” by Kamran Nazeer (Bloomsbury). Most of us just blunder along, unless we are trained communicators. But as a high-functioning autistic, Nazeer was forced to analyse the process of conversation in order to participate successfully. Nazeer’s discussion about the anatomy of conversation was instantly useful to me.

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 10th, 2007

7. 

   From Benedict Manovill

   Your story and the four rules are refreshing, Rachel! Those rules are some of the best I have heard and I am going to jot them down to keep them in mind. I like the way you tie them in with blogging.

   You asked about our experiences. I grew up with nuns and brothers. The rules were enforced. You only talked if you were called upon. Some of the rules were: 1) Listen - very hard. 2) If you have to talk, don’t talk about yourself. 3) Be accepting of all people - that’s your job.

   Thank you for your excellent post.
   Benedict

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 11th, 2007

8. 

   From Phil Davis

   A friend of mine forwarded your article to me and I abolutely agree and will be referring my readers to read this. I use a similar metaphor when I talk about blogging - my favorite Sushi restaurant. Sushi bars are designed in such a way as to create interaction between the chefs and patrons and between patrons themselves. The point I like to make is what is considered proper etiquette in your favorite restaurant, bar or coffee shop applies online as well.

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 11th, 2007

9. 

   From HP van Duuren

   I have my doubts about living to by all kinds of ‘Rules’. It goes without saying that sometimes it is practical, on the other hand If you ONLY live by Rules, or if you have many complicated rules for yourself or worst for others, than there will be a lot of reasons to be angry about ‘violators’, not a Happy place to be.

   A simpler more universal ‘Rule’ would be ‘Mutual Respect’,

   If I am not mistaken the Indians sometimes pass each other a Stick when they speak. The one with the Stick Speaks, you only get the Stick if you have summarised what the other person has said. This way forcing each other to listen to each other. If you are Respectfull, you don’t even need a Stick.

   All the Best,
   HPvD.

   Reply Quote

   Author's Website August 13th, 2007

10. 

    From Gillian

    The ‘don’t talk about yourself’ guideline seems to resonate with me. When family encouraged me to start a blog, cos various others were, I decided that I didn’t want to rabbit on about myself. Instead, I wanted to put my energy into something else.

    So my blog is about the School of St Jude in Arusha, Tanzania. It provides a resource for the worldwide group of people who support this excellent project that gives free education to bright children from poor families in a country where one in five children die before the age of 5.

    I use the blog to share my day to day learnings about the school, Africa, Tanzania, philanthropy, education and everything related. There’s nothing more exciting than a nice, meaty learning curve. I learned that for myself.

    Many thanks for your happy ruminations about good communication — they are fun and stimulating.

    Reply Quote

    Author's Website August 13th, 2007

11. 

    From patrickHudson

    This post is taking me back to the previous stage where i was young. My father too had a similar practice of having dining table conference. This is interesting for me. Thank you

    Reply Quote

    Author's Website September 19th, 2007

12. 

    From Offshore Gaming

    It’s a brilliant article, and extremely beneficial for those who wants to improve their table manners. Especially the youngsters like me should learn from you.
    Post is really admirable and learning experience.

    Reply Quote

    Author's Website July 31st, 2008

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