Most of the copy people ask me to rewrite seem to offer great products and services. In fact, some offers are so good, prospects would be crazy to turn them down.

But they do.

And these sales pieces end up falling on my lap because they’re desperately unproductive. When clients ask me to critique or rewrite copy, one of the biggest problems I see is the fact that the copy is stale, limp, and anemic.

Copy so downright dull, the only response it gets are yawns.

You’ve heard the adage, “copywriting is salesmanship in print.” This is nothing new. It comes from the ageless teachings of the masters, like Hopkins, Barton, Collier, and others, which still ring true today. Including the Internet.

But people tend to forget this axiom. Here’s why…

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I once took a media communications course in which I discovered an interesting example of the way the mind works. I soon realized how this applies to copywriting as well.

As part of a given lesson, they showed a videotape of a televised newscast during which a journalist was about to give a live report on a forest fire devastating the mid-​​west.

The news anchor said: “We now take you to Sally Smith, reporting live from above the scene of the fire…”

He then turned around to face the background screen, which gave a live bird’s-eye view of the raging fire, and asked: “Sally, tell us, how big is the fire?” In a voice partially drowned by the whizzing sound of helicopter blades, Sally reported:

“John, it’s so big, it’s covering well over 140 acres of land… that’s about 200 football fields back-​​to-​​back for you and me.”

What is this telling you? A lot more than you think…

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Back in late 2006, what started out as a New Year’s series of predictions of sorts ostensibly became one of the most downloaded, most controversial, and most talked about documents in the history of my career.

It was in keeping with that annual January tradition, where a plethora of bloggers flood the Internet with their predictions about online trends, emerging technologies, Internet flops, growing industries, rumored takeovers, ad nauseum.

But I’m no futurist by any stretch. I’m a copywriter by trade.

But I’ve seen some tremendous changes, mostly “behind the scenes,” and I wanted to join in the tradition. Particularly, I wanted to share not only something I was passionate about, but also something I knew was going to affect online copy in significant ways.

Now that several years have passed, I’m astounded by how true my predictions were…

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I used to teach marketing and selling part-​​time at a local college. One day, one of my students made me realize something important.

During my lecture, he offered an example to illustrate his understanding of a concept I was teaching. While it was general in nature, I realized how beautifully his example applied to copy. Particularly web copy.

In fact, his point was so well made because he drove it home using the very idea he was illustrating.

But before I explain it to you, let me put the story in context so you can understand.

In my Personal Selling class, we were discussing the natural human inclination to illogically and unconsciously assume that there is a parallel between a part and its whole — even when the two are totally unrelated or irrelevant to each other.

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The other day, one of my readers asked me the following question, which I found rather interesting: “Why should the author of a product be included in their sales copy?”

Seems like a pretty redundant question, right? Especially to any veteran copywriter or marketer worth their salt.

But the question didn’t stop there. The reader offered the following insight, which explains why this issue was such an important one to him, and why I felt compelled to answer:

“Specifically, why do my readers need to know who I am or what I bring to the table? How does telling them my qualifications increase the strength of my copy? My product solves a medical condition. But I am not a doctor and I have never had this condition myself. I’ve spent a year researching the best method to cure this condition. I have a list of 20,000 people with this condition and converse with them a lot. I know pretty much everything there is to know about this condition and have made it into an ebook.”

The answer is quite simple, actually. In fact, in his attempt to defend himself (i.e., that he’s not a doctor but has lots of experience and specialized knowledge about his market), the reader answered his own question. Let me explain…

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In a recent critique for a coaching client, the issue of “gap analysis” arose. Gap Analysis is something I learned in sales, and it was heavily taught by sales trainers like Brian Tracy, such as in his course “The Psychology of Selling.”

Gap Analysis is an immensely powerful selling technique. It’s also an important feature of copywriting. Most people will know a variation of it, which is often called “Problem-​​Agitate-​​Solve,” a term coined by top copywriter Dan Kennedy.

I prefer “Gap Analysis” because it drives home the relationship between those three elements. So what is Gap Analysis and how can you apply it to your sales copy?

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If you played video arcade games in the late 80’s or early 90’s, you might remember Zero Wing — a game in which a battle takes place in the year 2101, where you must defend the planet Earth from an alien invasion.

Zero Wing may have been a favorite among teenagers, but like the Cabbage Patch doll the fad faded… until Sega Genesis came out with their version of the popular arcade game in ’98, giving Zero Wing new breath.

But this time, one is offered an animated introduction in preparation for the space battle, which started with: “In A.D. 2101, war was beginning.” And a dialogue between the ship’s captain and the dreaded warrior Cats ensued, offering these priceless gems:

• “You Have No Chance To Survive Make Your Time.”
• “What you say!” “Someone Set Up Us The Bomb!”
• “You know what you doing. Move ‘Zig’ For Great Justice!”
• And of course, “All Your Base Are Belong To Us.”

The result became a viral phenomena that spread quickly, first among early adopting geeks, then to mainstream media. It has become so pervasive that it inspired a new generation of websites showcasing bad translations, and the explosion in fail blogs.

Now, what does a video game have to teach us about copywriting?

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