If you have been living under a rock in the past few weeks, then you might have missed one of the biggest kerfuffles in Internet history. Or so it seems.

No, I’m not talking about the contested elections in Iran.

I’m talking about the recent Facebook username frenzy, when Facebook allowed its users to register usernames, making profile addresses shorter and more memorable.

Leading up to it, they used a countdown timer. Brilliant.

Last week, I was watching a movie with my wife Sylvie Fortin. At 12:01 AM, I decided to log onto Facebook using my iPhone, just to see. And wouldn’t you know it? I managed to secure Facebook.com/michelfortin for me, and Facebook.com/licorice for our fan page.

(Sylvie also captured “sylviefortin” for herself.)

The Licorice Group, LLC is the name of our publishing company, located in Las Vegas, Nevada. Obviously, “michelandsylviefortin” was way too long and would defeat the purpose of getting a shorter mnemonic. So I decided on “licorice.”

Anyway, you might be wondering why I said this was a kerfuffle. Well, hold on tight, because this one is a doozie (and there’s a marketing lesson in here, too)…

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After the last, big, “mega-launch,” and a barrage of me-too marketing emails from the usual suspects, I’ve decided enough is enough. And it’s about time.

I’ve done something I should have done a long time ago.

And I feel liberated.

I recommend you do the same. And that is, I unsubscribed from 90% of the newsletters I was receiving. I purged ruthlessly, without blinking or looking back.

If you think it’s not a lot, let me give you a backstory. When I was the editor of The Internet Marketing Chronicles newsletter over a decade ago (which has since been acquired by the late Corey Rudl), I subscribed to a lot of email newsletters.

Yes, lots. Like over-a-thousand lots.

I’m a speed-reader, so getting that many emails was never a big challenge. And before you conclude I was an email junkie, let me give you a few reasons in my defense.

For one, I wanted to be up on things. I wanted to stay abreast of new changes, new marketing strategies, new software tools, and so on. (I still do.)

Second, it gave me a lot of fodder while writing editorials for the then popular newsletter. I’m proud to have been instrumental in helping them grow their list from 45,000 to 160,000 subscribers, and remember that 160,000 back in ‘98 was quite a feat!

And third, these emails served me well as they were also used for research purposes. As an up-and-coming copywriter writing a lot for the Internet marketing crowd at the time, I wanted to see what others were saying, promoting, doing, emailing, and writing.

But this weekend, after last week’s ubiquitous mega-launch promotional emails started cluttering up my inbox, it became the proverbial straw that broke this camel’s back.

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A while ago, I wrote a blog post on the power of names.

I won’t repeat it here, except for the fact that, while branding may not be a priority for you, choosing a name for your business or product (even your domain name) is often the single, most important business decision you will ever make.

In this blog post I submit five characteristics of great brand names, which I call the five “S’s.” They are characteristics I encourage you to follow when coming up with a solid, long-lasting, and highly profitable name.

For starters, let me point out that the best names are names that are short, easy to pronounce, and easy to remember. They have considerable mnemonic value, which often translates into financial value.

A mnemonic is a device — such as a word, symbol, or sound — intended to assist in recall. If a name carries some mnemonic value, it will increase traffic, sales, and value to your business on its own. The more mnemonic a name is, the more valuable it is.

There are various reasons for this.

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Whatever happened to sales and marketing?

Simple question, I know. But think about it. How many businesses have you come across lately spouting the latest and greatest trick, tactic, or cashgrab?

You’ve heard of the saying, “Hate the game, not the player?” I’ve heard this many times too, and lately I seem to hear it a lot within our industry.

When my wife, Sylvie Fortin, wrote Internet Marketing Sins, her premise was similar. She said, “Hate the sin, love the sinner.” But her reasoning was, she wanted to expose, focus on, and provide alternative solutions to specific practices and behaviors, without fingerpointing anyone.

However, the more I think about it, the more I’m coming to the conclusion that the player worries me more than the game itself. And here’s why…

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Today, Sylvie and I stumbled onto another bad Internet marketing sin perpetrated by an online marketer. This person is not as well-known, but judging from their style they’re definitely a student of some of the top “gurus.”

When we shared this with our platinum coaching group, a member sent this amazing “10-point ethics checklist,” which he and his employees use in his company as guidelines in defining if a marketing or business strategy is worth doing.

That list is nothing short of brilliant.

With his gracious permission, Darrin Clement allowed me to reprint it here for you. I urge you to read it. Go through it when you’re thinking about implementing a new marketing or sales tactic, or when you’re about to buy into one. It’s that powerful. Here’s the list…

1. The Golden Rule: Would I want people to do this to me?
2. The Fairness Test: Who might be affected and how? Is this fair to everyone?
3. The ‘What if everybody did this?’ Test: Would I want everyone to do this? Would I want to live in that kind of world?
4. The Truth Test: Does this action represent the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
5. The Parents Test: How would my parents feel if they found out about this? What advice would they give me?
6. The Children Test: Would I be willing to explain everything about this to my kids and expect them to act in the same way?
7. The Religion Test: Does this go against my religion?
8. The Conscience Test: Does this go against my conscience? Will I feel guilty?
9. The Consequences Test: Are there possible consequences of this action that would be bad? Would I regret doing this?
10. The Front Page Test: How would I feel if my action were reported on the front page of my hometown paper?

The long anticipated third and final installment of my wife’s shocking and highly controversial exposé, Internet Marketing Sins covering five more sins, is finally out.

It took a bit longer this time, and Sylvie explains why in the report. She also clears up a lot of misconceptions about why she wrote this report. And in fact, this time she did it a little differently.

This time, she did it on video!

There are several reasons.

For one, she wanted to save time. Her recent surgery forced her to postpone writing this section, and people were clamoring for it.

Second, it would also give you a chance to hear her passion, and sometimes, her anger. Plus, she ends with a heartfelt plea you definitely don’t want to miss!

Like parts one and two, she uses strong language and doesn’t hold back! Your discretion is advised.

She exposes the final five sins, i.e., Teleseminar Idiots, Brainless Freebie Seekers, Coaching Addicts, Time-Sucking Vampires, and Slave Owners. The video is on the same download page of the first two parts. If you haven’t signed up, do it now…

Go now and watch part #3 of InternetMarketingSins.com.

It’s New Year’s Eve, so I wanted to take a moment to wish you all a Happy New Year. Thanks for your continued readership and support in 2008. Your return visits, your comments, and your subscribership are greatly appreciated.

New Year’s is a time when we make resolutions. But resolutions are often broken. Instead, I prefer to set goals, with the sole resolution to meet them. What are my goals for 2009? It all boils down to three simple words…

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