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How to Write Carrot-Wielding Copy!

carrot.jpgA significant reason behind websites that fail is the lack of an effective response-driven message. A message that gets people to do something, even if it’s to keep reading.

A direct response message is not just about response. It’s comprised of three elements: it must be 1) captivating (it captures the reader’s attention), 2) riveting (it pulls her into reading further) and 3) engaging (it calls her to act). (In fact, these are the “three simple steps” I talk about in my DVD video.)

How can you incorporate those three vital elements?

If I were to answer that question adequately it would likely take me an entire book the size of an encyclopedia! But for now, let me give you a succinct explanation…


First, write to be scanned.

On the Internet, people are fast-paced, click-happy (with an attention span the size of a DNA molecule) and easily bored. The burden of getting visitors to stop what they’re doing and start reading rests entirely upon the headline, the headers and any grabbers — things that help grab people’s attention (e.g., boxes, borders, graphics, etc).

But once you captured your readers’ attention, the next step is to keep them (and to keep them reading).

If you know the AIDA formula, you know this is where you need to generate interest. But I go a step further by saying that your job is even more important here, since you must not only generate interest but also maintain it. And that is a much harder task, especially online.

It’s also the crux behind a long copy salesletter’s success.

The debate about long versus short copy can be wearisome for most copywriters, since they must constantly explain to their clients the benefits of using long copy. Even though long copy is statistically proven to outperform short copy, many clients still tell me that longer copy will never be read, and that on the Internet things are short and fast. And then they ask me to trim my drafts down.

(I often fervently protest when this happens, and you’ll soon find out why.)

Sure, I completely agree that things are short and fast online. But there is a difference between grabbing people’s attention and holding on to it. Keeping readers riveted, hanging on to each and every word with an intense desire to know what’s next, is the goal of any direct response copy.

Remember this:

There’s a difference between long copy and long-winded copy.

(It sounds the same as reading a story, right? Well, it is. Like a book that’s called a “page turner,” copy that keeps people glued to each and every paragraph is one that is intensely interesting, curiously inviting and uncomfortably compelling.)

As an aside, why do you think we now include “stickiness” as a measuring stick in web analytics? Granted, some of it is entertainment value, like videos and graphics. But 9 times out of 10, it’s copy. Period.

Here’s a known fact:

Prospects who are qualified and genuinely interested in the product or service being offered always want more information about it, not less. If they are not qualified or interested from the outset, no matter how long or short the copy is, they will simply never buy. If they’re not interested or qualified, they won’t read 15 words, much less 1,500 words.

Shorter copy can lead to three potential outcomes:

1) a lower response due to the lack of information;

2) an incessant need for more data, leading to a barrage of information requests or questions;

3) or a higher number of cancellations, refunds and returns since the product or service turned out to be different than what was initially expected.

If long copy leads to poor results, it has nothing to do with the length. It has everything to do with the copy.

It’s simply too boring.

It didn’t elevate the reader’s level of interest, and it failed to keep her reading. Admittedly, it’s a challenge — and the reason why most online business owners usually opt for short copy, since writing long copy that engages, entices and entertains is very difficult. (Yes, I did say “entertain.” It really is all about storytelling.)

Good copy, on the other hand, is where the reader hangs onto every word, and becomes more and more excited the further she reads it. You see, long copy is like telling a good story — and copywriters are indeed storytellers. If your copy tells a compelling story, people will read it … All of it. When it is written well, long copy can lead to a much greater level of response.

Look at it this way:

You visit a bookstore and notice a book that seems to entice you. For instance, the cover, the title and the cover copy, such as editorial raves or the author’s biography, pull you into the book. Even the opening chapter is delectable. So, you decide to buy the book.

The book seems to be inviting, exciting and entertaining, and the story compels you to read every single page, no matter how big the book is.

Take Stephen King, for example. If you’re a Stephen King fanatic, that means: 1) you’re in his target market, and 2) you’re interested in everything King writes. Now, let’s say King publishes a massive, 800-page tome. Are you not going to read it simply because “it’s too long?” Of course not.

In fact, the book is so good that you either wish it was longer or, once done, are prepared to read it over once more. You just can’t put the book down, even if time is limited, and you’re busy or preoccupied with other things.

Here’s a flipside.

Let’s say, as you read it further, the story makes no more sense. You become confused, perhaps a little frustrated, and you slowly begin to lose interest. The plot no longer invites you to keep reading. You drift away and find it harder to continue. Ultimately, the storyline fails to keep you excited about the book. So, you stop, close the book and then shelve it. Now, it gathers dust in your library.

The excuse? It’s TOO long!

Let me ask you, how many books in your library did you fail to finish reading (or to start reading, for that matter)? Perhaps some. Perhaps many. But the same thing holds true with direct response copy.

Long copy works better than short copy. But it only works if it’s interesting, captivating and riveting. Call it “edutainment.” Copy must be educational and entertaining.

However, in a handful of cases shorter copy is warranted. (There is such a thing as “overselling” in copy.) But the only real way to know for sure is to test, test and test. Claude Hopkins, author of “Scientific Advertising,” wrote an important axiom:

“Almost any question can be answered cheaply, quickly and finally, by a test campaign. This is the only way to answer them, not by arguments around a table. Go to the court of last resort… The buyers of your product.”

As my mentor, copywriting genius Dan Kennedy, once said in a recent interview:

“Now, the person who says ‘But I would never read all that copy’ makes the mistake of thinking they are their customer … And they are not. We are never our own customers. (…) There is a thing in copywriting I teach called ‘message-to-market match’. It is this: when your message is matched to a target market that has a high level of interest in it, not only does the level of responsiveness go up but readership goes up, too…

“… The whole issue of interest goes up.”

The next step is to engage the reader.

Again, you’re like an author telling a good story, and your copy must read like one. But like all good stories, the reader must become intimately involved in the plot. They see themselves in the shoes of the characters living out the story.

And to do this, you need what I often call “UPWORDS.” It’s an acronym that means: “Universal picture words or relatable, descriptive sentences.”

First, using “universal picture words” means to use words and mental imagery that help to paint vivid pictures in the mind. Lace your copy with words that engage as many of the senses as possible, and cause your prospects to easily visualize already enjoying the benefits of your offer.

As for “universal,” it means to use words that appeal to, and can be easily interpreted by, the vast majority of readers. In other words, use words to “encode” your message so that, when they are read, can be decoded in the same way by most of your readers. Your job is to get the reader not only to read your copy but also to understand it, internalize it and appreciate it.

Remember this simple yet extremely important rule:

“Different words mean different things to different people.”


Some words can be interpreted in one way by one reader and in a different way by another. Your job, therefore, is to choose words that cater and universally appeal to the bulk of your readers in order for them to fully appreciate what you’re conveying.

For example, a challenge among cosmetic surgeons is the fact that prospective patients will call for an estimate over the phone when obviously the doctor needs to see her beforehand. (An initial, in-person assessment is always required, even by law, to see if that patient is a surgical candidate. Giving out an estimate implies that the patient is indeed a good candidate for the surgery when it may not be the case.)

Here’s the crux of the problem:

Most patients don’t understand the significance of seeing the doctor in person. Some may feel intimated by doctors or by surgery, while others may simply be in a rush and want to “shop around.” While they may understand the reason, they may not necessarily appreciate the importance, because cosmetic surgery is an uncommon process. So, doctors will use analogies, referring to a more common approach, such as cosmetic dentistry.

Why? Unlike surgery, most people have had their teeth done at some point in their lives. They already know it. They already have a “reference point” in their minds they can relate to.

So, doctors will say: “Like a dentist, I can not give you an estimate over the phone without any x-rays of your teeth let alone the knowledge of how many cavities you actually have.” People now understand not only the reason but also the importance of seeing the doctor in person in order to obtain an accurate estimate.

This applies to every business.

Business owners often become so intimately involved with their product or business that they tend to forget to look at them from their prospect’s perspective. For example, they tend to use a language that only people in their industry or “on the other side of the fence,” so to speak, can fully appreciate. But that approach can backfire… And often does.

Therefore, your job is to use analogies, metaphors and comparisons, and most importantly stories, all in a language to which the prospect can relate.

That’s what “relatable, descriptive sentences” mean. Words are not messages in themselves. They are merely symbols. Your choice of words can actually alter the understanding, and particularly the emotional impact, of your message.

Finally, use action words (i.e., active verbs and not passive ones) that not only compel your readers but also “propel” them into action. Tell them what they must do and take them “by the hand,” in other words. Don’t stick with mere verbs. Use action words that paint vivid pictures in the mind, too. And the more vivid the picture is the more compelling the request will be.

For example, you’re a financial consultant. Rather than saying something like, “Poor fiscal management may lead to financial woes,” say, “Stop mediocre money management from sucking cash straight out of your wallet!” (People can visualize the action of “sucking” better than they can “leading.”) Instead of, “Let me help you maintain your balance sheet,” say, “Borrow my eyes to help you keep a steady finger on your financial pulse.”

About the Author

Michel Fortin is a direct response copywriter, author, speaker, consultant, and CEO of The Success Doctor, Inc. Visit his blog and signup free to get tested conversion strategies and response-boosting tips by email, along with blog updates, news, and more! Go now to http://www.michelfortin.com.

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19 Replies to “How to Write Carrot-Wielding Copy!”

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  1. From Your blessing of Good Health, Wealth & Fortune

    Your article is forever so impressive …

    As I read through your article about ‘How to Write Carrot-Wielding Copy!’, it never fails to impress me. Most of the time, I do wish that I can be like

    Source Website June 22nd, 2005

Comments

  1. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Dennis Mellersh

    Michael:

    An excellent article –as usual. You always give real meat that we can use.

    Your blog is, in both content and layout/graphics, the best blog that I read.

    I have just started out on the road to trying to develop an income stream through the Internet and I find your advice very helpful.

    I am a professional business-to-business writer and am in the process of trying to gradually learn copywriting.

    I really like your blog just the way it is and appreciate being notified by e-mail when a new post is published.

    I would not change a thing.

    As I said, the way this blog is laid out makes it very easy to read and navigate.

    It is an excellent example for us newbies to try to emulate.

    You don’t need a traditional website if you can keep up this degree of quality.

    Keep up the good work.

    Dennis Mellersh

    Author's Website May 13th, 2005

  2. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Merle

    Hi Michel

    This is why when people ask me who the “best copywriter” online is I give them your name. You’re work is top notch which is why all the big time net marketers come to you for their sales copy and why you make the big bucks. (LOL)

    Author's Website May 13th, 2005

  3. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Sherrill

    I couldn’t finish the article…it was way too long…

    We sell comfort food online…coffee…our message is short & straight to the point…

    here’s your coffee choices…pick some coffee to have fresh roasted & delivered to your doorstep…pay for your coffee…get on with what you’re doing…

    K.I.S.S

    It works for us.
    Sherrill
    http://www.spotajavacoffee.com

    Author's Website May 13th, 2005

  4. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Michael

    Michael,

    Thank you for the excellent article. I’ve been reading Joe Sugarman lately and he talks a lot about matching your market too. One of the things I find so tough is learning (getting to know) your targeted market. I mean, how many things can you be intimately involved with?!?!?

    Thanks,
    Michael
    Hardishake

    Author's Website May 14th, 2005

  5. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Arun Agrawal

    Hi Michel

    I totally agree that long copy (and not long-winded copy - well said!) sells better. With short copy, we are leaving too much to imagination and that may raise unwanted hopes or keep the prospect guessing.

    Long copy also provides more opportunities to make the copy search engine friendly and helps in getting better rankings.

    Author's Website May 14th, 2005

  6. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Michael Vaughn

    Michael, I sell PC’s (desktop and laptops) online. My target market is people with bad or no credit and with an income of $28,000 or less. I use direct mail (postcards) as my main source of contact. Information on a postcard is limited because of size. I am going to try a test of one thousand flyers with more info and let you know how it goes. Thanks for all of your help.

    Author's Website May 14th, 2005

  7. MyAvatars 0.2

    From William Whetstone

    Michael
    Your reputation precedes you, heard about you for a long time but today I “got it”…the reasons why you are respected and admired for what you do.

    Great Illustration of Your “Too long” - “Too Short” debate. I’m the poster child for your telethon. Me, being the impatient hyperscanner zipping through the article to the final hook, you showed me an ugly picture of myself as an attention deficit hyper-clickin’ surf glutton. I found myself going back and reading through the WHOLE DAMN ARTICLE in spite of my usual tendency to jump about grabbing up the goodies and leaving. This time I absorbed “THE DEPTH” of what you were saying and took to heart the generosity of your talent which was once again a wake up call for me to slow down and stop chasing the “Automatic Content Updating Machines” which, in my childlike fears, had left me behind in the dust. This sad mindset was brought to my attention by your centered approach to analysis of our common human need to relate One at a time with each other in REAL ways that no autoresponding content spewing firehose can EVER replace. So here I am doing what I never do which is take the time to post my thoughts in a forum. I hope my confession stimulates you to mine this new frontier as only You can do. Rage against the “content” machine, You are more than that. Thanks, I needed that, brother.

    Author's Website May 14th, 2005

  8. MyAvatars 0.2

    From James Marks

    Hey Michel,

    A question: You have a LOT of articles and the content is great. I’d venture to call it dangerously revealing.

    #1 - Does all this come from your head?

    #2 - How often do you find yourself repeating the subject in an article? (meaning the “point” of the content)

    #3 - Do you have an article “swipe file” to write these? I mean, you write a lot of stuff day-by-day… Is it your experience that helps you write so much in a day, some kind of raw talent that not everyone has? or do you have some kind of article-generating tool that we don’t know about?

    In other words: What’s your secret?

    James

    Author's Website May 14th, 2005

  9. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Mike Sigers

    Michel,

    Once again, you have taken the amount of content that some would call an ebook and given it to us as a free article. Thank you.

    I have read an entire National Geographic, from cover to cover, without stopping. Why ? Because it was all interesting. The length of the material is immaterial( you can use that ). As you said, the depth of engagement is all that matters.

    It’s mind over matter…..if it’s what I want to read about, I don’t mind ( the length ) so it doesn’t matter.

    Mike

    Author's Website May 14th, 2005

  10. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Helen Palmer

    A number of people have made interesting comments here on your very informative article.

    Is it possible for you to answer some of them, as I would be interested in your comments?

    I don’t think we can hear (or read) enough about writing copy, because eventually some or all of these ideas will come out in our writing.

    Many thanks for all the help you’re willing to offer people.

    Author's Website May 16th, 2005

  11. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Eric Graham

    Great post Michel!

    There are more valuable copywriting tips and nuggets in this short article than in many paid ebooks and courses.

    You hit the nail on the head in the “long copy vs. short copy” debate.

    Most people who are afraid to test long copy, don’t understand that you can create multiple readership paths within your copy.

    Different visitors have different goals, different personalities and different buying styles. Some visitors will want to read everything you can give them before buying and then they still need “more information” before they can decide. Others just want to know “what are you selling”, “what does it do for me” and “how much is it” and they want to know it NOW!

    By creatively using your sub-headlines and bullet points you can persuade those who do not have the time to read your entire message, without sacrificing needed benefits and copy for those who won’t buy without a “full” explanation of your product or service.

    Like the old masters have said, “Your sales letter should be long enough to make the sale… And not one word longer.”
    (And I would add “Not one word SHORTER…”)

    Author's Website May 16th, 2005

  12. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Michel Fortin

    Thank you for your comments. Someone asked if I were to respond to some of the comments. I will be answering some of the questions here in a whole blog post on its own, since they are valid questions.

    Author's Website May 16th, 2005

  13. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Rob :-)

    That is a great post, now.. you gonna let us have a bite of that carrot?

    I have to say you never write “boring” post, they all have great tips, but also we don’t need to read between the lines with your writing, as its laid out so nice and easy for all to see with nothing held back.. :)

    I love to read your work, its a great learning experience, and we never stop learning.

    Why not learn from the best. ;)

    Take care.

    Rob. (islandmarketer)

    P.s keeop the blog as it is mate.. its neat clean easy on the eye and full of flu.. great writing.. ;)

    Author's Website May 17th, 2005

  14. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Mary Stevens

    Excellent article.
    This article itself is an example of captivating, engaging and rivetting.

    It was so interesteing - I simply kept reading on.

    Author's Website May 19th, 2005

  15. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Michel Fortin

    I just posted an entire entry to answer your questions.

    Author's Website May 23rd, 2005

  16. MyAvatars 0.2

    From David Tinney

    Michael,

    As usual, you’ve delivered way more than one could expect for free. I’ve been reading your material for a long time and come to value and appreciate your insight and professionalism.

    Thanks!

    David Tinney

    P.S. I really like the blog.

    Author's Website June 21st, 2005

  17. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Beverly Johnson

    As usual, Michael, you’re the best. No question about it.

    Totally agree!

    In the real world, offline sales people use tens of thousands of words (verbally) to convince potential customers to complete the purchase.

    Why should online sales be any different. We’re still dealing with the same people, right?

    If you’ve got a tangible product, (being sold online) like coffee or clothing, you’re going to attract targeted buyers anyway.

    Lots of people sell coffee online. That’s not anything special.

    Chances are these shoppers show up at your website, already sold on the idea of buying your type of product.

    The trick is to get them to spend their money with you, instead of your nearest competitor. (Consumers do have choices!)

    That’s where your ad copy kicks in. You can use the written word online to build trust; establish your credibility and convince the potential customer that she can trust her money to you.

    Buyers want to be romanced into making a purchase.

    They want to be convinced that they are making the right decision.

    They need to see the logical reasons and feel emotionally that it is the right thing to do.

    And, most times the only way to do that is with lengthy ad copy.

    Buyers still want to know “What’s in it for me?” Ultimately, that’s all they care about.

    If you can do that in three words, go for it.

    If not, why be afraid to break down and actually open up to them.

    These are just words, people. Let’s stop being afraid of them.

    Thanks for holding the line on a good point, Michael.

    Author's Website December 20th, 2006

  18. MyAvatars 0.2

    From Tracy Robinson

    Michael-

    Great article and a good example of your central thesis that long copy can be engaging.

    I think you’re best point was in the beginning when you say that Internet copy was meant to be scanned, If you’re going to use long copy, then you have to break it up into digestible portions and use highlights and call-outs to guide the reader to important points.

    The one downside to long copy that I didn’t see you mention (although I have to admit I am somewhat of a scanner myself!) is that long copy screams SALES PITCH and sometimes I immediately click away from pages that are clearly sales letters when I am looking for more objective information. Obviously, that is not what you have written here but that is what comes to mind when people talk about long copy.

    Author's Website March 20th, 2008

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