How to Write Carrot Wielding Copy!

A sig­nif­i­cant rea­son behind most floun­der­ing web­sites is the lack of a response-​​driven mes­sage — an effec­tive one that gets peo­ple to do some­thing, even if it’s to keep reading.

A direct response mes­sage is not just about response. It’s com­prised of three ele­ments: it must be 1) cap­ti­vat­ing (it cap­tures the reader’s atten­tion), 2) riv­et­ing (it pulls her into read­ing fur­ther) and 3) engag­ing (it calls her to act).

(These are the “three steps” I talk about in my course.)

How can you incor­po­rate those three vital elements?

If I were to answer that ques­tion ade­quately it would likely take me an entire book the size of an ency­clo­pe­dia! But for now, let me give you a suc­cinct explanation…

First, write to be scanned.

On the Inter­net, peo­ple are fast-​​paced, click-​​happy (with an atten­tion span the size of a DNA mol­e­cule) and eas­ily bored. The bur­den of get­ting vis­i­tors to stop what they’re doing and start read­ing rests entirely upon the head­line, the head­ers and any grab­bers — things that help grab people’s atten­tion (e.g., boxes, bor­ders, graph­ics, etc).

But once you cap­tured their atten­tion, next is to keep them — and keep them reading.

If you know the AIDA for­mula, this is where you need to gen­er­ate inter­est. But I go a step fur­ther by say­ing that your job is even more impor­tant here, since you must not only gen­er­ate inter­est but also main­tain it. And that is a much harder task, espe­cially online.

It’s also the crux of a long copy salesletter’s success.

The debate about long copy ver­sus short copy can be weari­some for most copy­writ­ers, since they must con­stantly explain the ben­e­fits of using long copy.

Even though long copy is sta­tis­ti­cally proven to out­per­form short copy, many clients still offer the typ­i­cal litany — that longer copy will never be read, and that on the Inter­net things are short and fast. And then they ask me to trim my drafts down.

(I often fer­vently protest when this hap­pens, and you’ll soon find out why.)

Sure, I com­pletely agree that things are short and fast online. But there is a dif­fer­ence between grab­bing people’s atten­tion and hold­ing on to it.

Keep­ing read­ers riv­eted, hang­ing on to each and every word with an intense desire to know what’s next, is the goal of any direct response copy. Remem­ber this…

There’s a dif­fer­ence between long copy and long-​​winded copy.

(It sounds the same as read­ing a story, right? Well, it is. Like a book that’s called a “page turner,” copy that keeps peo­ple glued to each and every para­graph is one that is intensely inter­est­ing, curi­ously invit­ing, and uncom­fort­ably compelling.)

As an aside, why do you think we now include “stick­i­ness” and “bounce rates” as a mea­sur­ing stick in web ana­lyt­ics? Granted, some of it is based on a site’s enter­tain­ment value, like mul­ti­me­dia and inter­ac­tiv­ity. But nine times out of 10, it’s based on the copy.

Here’s a known fact: prospects who are qual­i­fied for and gen­uinely inter­ested in the prod­uct or ser­vice being offered will always want more infor­ma­tion about it, not less.

If they are not qual­i­fied or inter­ested, from the out­set, then no mat­ter how long or short the copy is, they will sim­ply not buy. They won’t read 15 words, much less 1,500 words.

If the copy is too short, it can lead to three poten­tial outcomes:

1) A lower response due to the lack of information;

2) An inces­sant need for more data, lead­ing to a bar­rage of infor­ma­tion requests or ques­tions (that is, pro­vided that the prospect is suf­fi­ciently inter­ested to dig further);

3) Or, if they do buy, a higher num­ber of can­cel­la­tions and refund requests, since the prod­uct or ser­vice turned out to be dif­fer­ent than what was ini­tially expected.

Bot­tom line, if long copy leads to poor results, then it has less to do with the length itself and more to do with the copy. Specif­i­cally, with the qual­ity of the copy, not the quantity.

It’s sim­ply too bor­ing.

It didn’t ele­vate the reader’s level of inter­est and failed to keep her read­ing. Admit­tedly, it’s a chal­lenge and the rea­son why most online busi­nesses usu­ally opt for short copy, since writ­ing long copy that engages, entices, and enter­tains is very difficult.

Yes, I did say “enter­tain.” It really is about sto­ry­telling. Or what I call sto­ry­selling.

You see, long copy is like telling a good story — and copy­writ­ers are indeed sto­ry­tellers. If your copy tells a com­pelling story, peo­ple will read it. All of it. When it is writ­ten well, long copy can lead to a much greater level of response.

So for­get “long.” Think “good.” Good copy is where the reader hangs onto every word, and becomes more and more excited the fur­ther she reads it. Look at it this way…

You visit a book­store and notice a book that seems to entice you. The cover, the title, and the cover copy, such as the syn­op­sis, edi­to­r­ial raves, or the author’s bio, pull you into the book. Even the open­ing chap­ter is delec­table. So, you buy the book.

The book is invit­ing, excit­ing, and enter­tain­ing. The story is deli­ciously com­pelling. It pulls you in and com­pels you to read every sin­gle page, no mat­ter how big the book is.

Take Stephen King, for exam­ple. If you’re a Stephen King fanatic, that means: 1) you’re in his tar­get mar­ket, and 2) you’re inter­ested in every­thing King writes.

Now, let’s say King pub­lishes a mas­sive, 800-​​page tome. A mas­sive book, no doubt. Let me ask you, are you not going to read it sim­ply because “it’s too long?” Of course not.

In fact, the book is so good that you either wish it was longer or, once done, are pre­pared to read it over once more. You just can’t put the book down, even if time is lim­ited, and you’re busy or pre­oc­cu­pied with other things.

Here’s a flipside.

Let’s say the oppo­site hap­pens. As you read it fur­ther, the story makes no more sense. You become con­fused, per­haps a lit­tle frus­trated, and you slowly begin to lose interest.

The plot no longer invites you to keep read­ing. You drift away and find it harder to con­tinue. Ulti­mately, the sto­ry­line fails to keep you excited about the book. So, you stop, close the book, and then shelve it. Now, it gath­ers dust in your library.

The excuse? It’s TOO long!

Let me ask you, how many books are lin­ger­ing in your library because you failed to fin­ish read­ing (or even start read­ing, for that mat­ter)? Per­haps some. Per­haps many. But nev­er­the­less, the same thing holds true with direct response copy.

Long copy works bet­ter than short copy. But it only works if it’s inter­est­ing, cap­ti­vat­ing, and riv­et­ing. Call it “edu­tain­ment.” Copy must be edu­ca­tional and entertaining.

How­ever, in a hand­ful of cases shorter copy is war­ranted. (There is such a thing as “over­selling” in copy.) But the only real way to know for sure is to test, test and test. Claude Hop­kins, author of “Sci­en­tific Adver­tis­ing,” wrote an impor­tant axiom:

“Almost any ques­tion can be answered cheaply, quickly and finally, by a test cam­paign. This is the only way to answer them, not by argu­ments around a table. Go to the court of last resort, the buy­ers of your product.”

As my men­tor, copy­writ­ing genius Dan Kennedy, once said in a recent inter­view:

“Now, the per­son who says ‘But I would never read all that copy’ makes the mis­take of think­ing they are their cus­tomer … And they are not. We are never our own cus­tomers. (…) There is a thing in copy­writ­ing I teach called ‘message-​​to-​​market match’. It is this: when your mes­sage is matched to a tar­get mar­ket that has a high level of inter­est in it, not only does the level of respon­sive­ness go up but read­er­ship goes up, too…

“… The whole issue of inter­est goes up.”

The next step is to engage the reader.

Again, you’re like an author telling a good story, and your copy must read like one. But like all good sto­ries, the reader must become inti­mately involved in the plot. They see them­selves in the shoes of the char­ac­ters liv­ing out the story.

And to do this, you need what I often call “UPWORDS.” It’s an acronym that means: “Uni­ver­sal pic­ture words or relat­able, descrip­tive sentences.”

First, “uni­ver­sal pic­ture words” means men­tal imagery that help to paint vivid pic­tures in the mind. Lace your copy with words that engage as many of the senses as pos­si­ble, and cause your prospects to eas­ily visu­al­ize already enjoy­ing the ben­e­fits of your offer.

As for “uni­ver­sal,” it means to use words that appeal to, and can be eas­ily inter­preted by, the vast major­ity of read­ers. In other words, use words to “encode” your mes­sage so that, when they are read, can be decoded in the same way by most of your readers.

Your job is to get the reader to not only to read your copy but also under­stand it, inter­nal­ize it, and appre­ci­ate it. To help you, remem­ber this sim­ple yet impor­tant rule:

“Dif­fer­ent words mean dif­fer­ent things to dif­fer­ent people.”

Some words can be inter­preted in one way by one reader and in a dif­fer­ent way by another. Your job, there­fore, is to choose words that cater and uni­ver­sally appeal to the bulk of your read­ers in order for them to fully appre­ci­ate what you’re conveying.

For exam­ple, in my early career I spe­cial­ized in copy­writ­ing for cos­metic sur­geons. A chal­lenge among doc­tors is the fact that prospec­tive patients will call for an esti­mate over the phone when obvi­ously the doc­tor needs to see her beforehand.

(An ini­tial, in-​​person assess­ment is always required, even by law in some loca­tions, to see if that patient is a sur­gi­cal can­di­date. Giv­ing out an esti­mate on the phone implies that the patient is indeed a good can­di­date for the surgery when it may not be the case.)

Here’s the crux of the prob­lem: most patients don’t under­stand the sig­nif­i­cance of see­ing the doc­tor in per­son. Some may feel intim­i­dated by doc­tors or by surgery, while oth­ers may sim­ply be in a rush and just want to “shop around.”

While they may know the rea­son, they may not nec­es­sar­ily appre­ci­ate the impor­tance of see­ing a doc­tor, because cos­metic surgery is an uncom­mon process.

So, doc­tors will refer to a more com­mon approach, such as cos­metic den­tistry. Because, unlike surgery, most peo­ple have had their teeth done at some point in their lives. They already know it. They already have a “ref­er­ence point” in their minds they can relate to.

There­fore, doc­tors will use anal­ogy, such as:

“Like a den­tist, I can not give you an esti­mate over the phone with­out any x-​​rays of your teeth let alone the knowl­edge of how many cav­i­ties you actu­ally have.”

Using this sce­nario, peo­ple now under­stand not only the rea­son but also the impor­tance of see­ing the doc­tor in per­son in order to obtain an accu­rate estimate.

This applies to every business.

Busi­ness own­ers often become so inti­mately involved with their prod­uct or busi­ness, they tend to for­get to look at them from their prospect’s per­spec­tive. They tend to use a lan­guage that only they or the peo­ple in their indus­try can fully appreciate.

But that approach can back­fire… And often does.

There­fore, your job is to use analo­gies, metaphors and com­par­isons, and most impor­tantly sto­ries, all in a lan­guage to which the prospect can relate.

That’s what “relat­able, descrip­tive sen­tences” mean. Words are not mes­sages in them­selves. They are merely sym­bols. Your choice of words can actu­ally alter the under­stand­ing, and par­tic­u­larly the emo­tional impact, of your message.

Finally, use action words that not only com­pel your read­ers but also “pro­pel” them into action. Tell them what they must do and take them “by the hand,” in other words.

Don’t stick with mere verbs. Use action words that paint vivid pic­tures in the mind, too. And the more vivid the pic­ture is, the more com­pelling the request will be.

For exam­ple, you’re a finan­cial con­sul­tant. Rather than say­ing some­thing like, “Poor fis­cal man­age­ment may lead to finan­cial prob­lems,” say, “Stop mediocre money man­age­ment from suck­ing your hard-​​earned cash straight out of your wallet!”

Peo­ple can visu­al­ize the action of “suck­ing” bet­ter than they can “leading.”

If you think that sounds a lit­tle over the top, you can still use pic­ture words in more sub­dued ways. For instance, instead of, “Let me help you main­tain your bal­ance sheet,” say, “Bor­row my eyes to help you keep a steady fin­ger on your finan­cial pulse.”

Ulti­mately, if you think long copy is a deter­rent, you won’t know it until you actu­ally test it your­self. But don’t test long ver­sus short just for the sake of test­ing length. Because, in many cases, size really does mat­ter when you know how to use it well.

About the Author

Last 5 Posts By Michel Fortin

• Superior Value Equals Superior Sales
• On Not Playing The Blame Game
• The Future of The Internet is Cloudy
• Carve Your Niche By Dominating One
• Can Copy And Content Commingle?

Other Related Posts

• To Up Sales, Up Words! (39)
• You Ought To Be In Pictures (25)
• Three Tips For Magnetizing Your Copy (11)
• Your Reader Wants To Know These 5 Things (29)
• Write Magnetic Headlines With These 7 Tips (32)