How to Craft Cash-Creating Climactic Copy

blinders.jpgHave you ever picked up a book off the shelf at a local bookstore, read the front and back covers, opened it up and, after reading a few pages, just couldn’t put it down?

Do you remember, after buying the book, how you flipped each page with an almost excruciating curiosity because the story was so tantalizing, you became increasingly riveted to the book with each subsequent chapter?

Copy is, or should be, the same.

Look at it this way: Good copy makes a good case. But great copy tells a good story. A great copywriter is also a great salesperson. But all great copywriters AND all great salespeople also have one thing in common…

… They are also great storytellers.

The closer your copy reads like a compelling story — keeping the reader interested and engaged, hanging on to every word — the greater your chances she will read your copy until the end and, of course, buy.

Your story should tickle the reader’s curiosity and pull her into the copy. Each new idea introduced should build on the other, pulling the reader further and deeper into the salesletter. Your copy should almost mesmerize the reader to the point she’s in a trance-like state, totally engrossed in your story.

Each paragraph and each word crescendos and prepares you, step-by-step, for the climactic twist in the story’s plot.

The climax, of course, is the offer.

And the plot, in copywriting, is called the “appeal.”

Your appeal is the major concept or storyline that will appeal to your target audience. It’s possibly a core benefit, result or key topic that creates the foundation upon which your entire “story” is built. It’s one powerful idea on which your entire copy will hinge.

The appeal you choose to present your offer is critical to the offer’s success — hopefully the offer is good, but getting there is the job of the appeal.

The concept of the “greased chute” is one in which you keep the reader hanging on to every word you write — up until they buy — as if they are sliding down a well-greased slide. They simply can’t leave until the end. They’re glued to your copy. They’re compelled to keep reading.

Copy is telling a good story that involves the reader so they can see in their mind’s eye the benefits of your offer, as if they owned your product already. The appeal is the foundation, if you will, you choose to build your story on.

It could (and often should be) be your USP. Some people call it a unique selling proposition. I prefer to call it a unique selling position. Because it’s tantamount to what copywriter John Carlton calls your “hook.”

A good hook grabs your readers “by the eyeballs.”

It could be some major advantage, claim, promise or benefit. But the best one often consists of some unexpected, incredible, and almost unbelievable or even surreal concept. John Carlton often refers to a hook as the “incongruent juxtaposition of seemingly unrelated ideas, facts or events.”

(Want some examples? Subscribe to the National Enquirer. They contain some of the best eyeball-grabbing hooks. Or check out this awesome article by Dorian Greer from SeducingTheBuyer.com.)

Here’s an example ripped from my own experience.

A stock trader one day asked me to write the copy for his how-to stock trading information product. Sure, the program was great. But in terms of salability and positioning, there was nothing new, fancy or unique about it.

So I had to dig. Dig real deep.

And here’s what I found: after gathering some information about the author, I discovered that the gentleman’s story behind the creation of the product was rather interesting. After a tumor was found on his brain and undergoing life-saving surgery to remove it, he couldn’t work in his old 9-to-5 job and decided to plunge into trading full-time. (He dabbled in it up to that point.)

After discovering and honing a method to trade the markets, he started to make a killing and later he went on to create a program that taught his strategy to aspiring traders who bugged him to reveal his bag of tricks.

Well, the hook I came up with was to use his surgery as the pivotal moment that changed his life. Here’s how I worded it…

The preheadline said: “As if the surgery ‘jogged’ something in his brain…” And then, the headline said:

After having a golfball-sized tumor removed from his brain and forced out of a job, 57-year-old stock trader accidentally stumbles onto magic formula that consistently humiliates even some of the most respected Wall Street stock trading gurus…”

But if that’s too off-the-wall for you, here’s a simpler example…

Ray McNally, a programmer and friend, offers a neat software program that complements an affiliate marketer’s efforts by helping them capture the names and email addresses of traffic they generate to a website they’re an affiliate of.

This program sets up a doorway page (not the search engine kind) that, before the affiliate’s generated traffic is sent to the site being promoted (and then gone forever), it capture’s their name and email addresses for potential follow-up.

Why? Because once they click on an affiliate link, they’re gone. But that affiliate has worked hard or spent money on generating that traffic. They own that traffic. So why not capture it in the process?

If they DIDN’T end up buying that affiliate product, no problem. That list can now be followed-up with, offered special incentives or even monetized in other ways!

What has that got to do with copy?

Originally, Ray had one of those hackneyed headlines: “Discover how to explode your income… Blah, blah, blah.”

Bland. Hypey. Boring.

Yuck.

After talking with Ray, I said: “Ray, your USP is not made up of the benefits your software offers… your hook is the fact that top affiliates use your ‘secret weapon’ to stop giving away their hard-earned traffic and driving them into black holes! So, why not capitalize on it?”

Consequently, the appeal or “hook” I told him to use was this ability affiliates gain with his software to catch the traffic they generate and make far more money by monetizing it before they blindly drive visitors off into the ether.

The result is here: AffiliatePageCreator.com. (The link leads to an archived page as this was a few years ago.) Check the headline out and you’ll understand what I mean. Also, you’ll notice another strategy I used.

Before I explain it to you, let me “set the story.”

A great way to learn how to write mouth-watering copy is to read fiction. Take a popular book and read it through once. Then go back, read it again and take notes. List the nuances, twists and storylines that grabbed you. And why.

In other words, try to look beyond the story.

Pinpoint where certain characters, ideas and phrases were introduced in specific locations of the book — and see how they relate to the whole plot.

Look at the flow of ideas. Is there a crescendo? Are there small “valleys” along the way (until you reach the “summit,” i.e., the climax)?

What do I mean by “small valleys?” Copy should build on the reader’s intrinsic curiosity. But it needs to do so multiple times throughout. In fact, incorporate what copywriter David Garfinkel once told me are called “nested loops.”

A nested loop is when you begin on an idea but, before you complete it, you introduce another idea. And guess what? People will read every single word more intently and intensely, and remember more what is being said in the process, until you close the loop and finish the idea.

In between the nested loop is therefore a great place to insert a key idea or critical point you want to drive home.

Why are “nested loops” so powerful?

In 1927, Bluma Zeigarnik, one of the early contributors to Gestalt Psychology, found that people remember unfinished tasks better than they do finished ones.

She noticed something peculiar after observing waiters and waitresses, who seemed to remember orders and forget them once the food was served. In other words, the incomplete task created a certain tension, discomfort or uneasiness that caused the brain to “hook” onto the unfinished task until it was done.

You see, we have an intrinsic need for closure.

We get a certain feeling of disconcertedness when something is left unfinished. Often called the “Zeigarnik Effect,” we not only remember interrupted tasks best but also the tension tends to create curiosity to an almost excrutiating level.

As a result, we either passionately attempt to complete something that’s incomplete, or feel a certain discomfort until it is and often go to great lengths to get it done. In copywriting particularly, this tension created by such an unfinished task helps us to concentrate more.

For example, have you ever watched the news or one of those tabloid shows on TV, where they begin with the following:

Tonight, Hollywood superstar escapes blazing fire while filming her new mega-budget movie. More on that later. But first…”

That story aroused your curiosity. So you remain glued to your TV set until… They air that particular story at the end of the show! Now, do you think they did this intentionally? Of course. They did so to force you to watch the entire show. (And of course, all of the commercials in between.)

Look at all the TV shows that keep you hanging with each show to the next. (Look at the hit show “24” as a perfect example.) Even commercials use this strategy brilliantly. (Remember the “Taster’s Choice” soap-opera-like series?)

Once you close the loop, their concentration level goes down somewhat, which is why you want to use multiple nested loops, or “valleys,” throughout the copy. Once they finally “climax,” there’s no more “Zeigarnik Effect.” And you stand a great chance to lose your reader.

(Take, for instance, the show “Dallas” in the 80’s with the famous “Who Shot J.R.?” plot. After the show’s culmination when they finally revealed who did it, ratings dropped dramatically.)

In copy, include nested loops to not only keep the reader reading but also to build on the reader’s level of concentration until the very end. That way, you can introduce new or critical ideas in between them so that they internalize your offer far more effectively.

Look at soap operas and cliffhangers as an example. As an aside, even a few Internet marketers are doing exactly that. For example, check out The Joe And Mable Show.

Last 5 Posts by Michel Fortin

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  • Michel, I wish I could have been there.

    Your article reminds me of the old timers back home and how great they were at telling stories. We would sit around the table, or out in their shed or workshop and listen as they told stories of when they were a kid.

    One guy would even tell them in chapters. He'd go on for about a half hour and then get distracted. Next time we went there he would pick up where he left off. Sad thing is, he passed away before finishing one of his stories... LOL. Never did get to hear the punch line.

    Anyway, excellemt article. I've added it to my ever-expanding swipe file. Keep 'em coming!
  • This concept of "telling a story" is definitely a winning strategy in marketing. Included here would be the liberal use of testimonials and how effective they are in telling many "little" stories from satisfied customers.
  • If you want an excellent example of applying the Zeigarnik effect, which Mark Joyner talked about, is his own salesletter at

    http://www.markjoynerinc.com/

    Read it. It's amazing stuff!
  • Excellent points as usual.. in learning from infomercials, for nested loops they use what are called "holders" ...

    as in first clip is: "more on how the amazing new ... can help you ... in just a minute, but first here's something else you've got to see to believe..."...

    then a new benefit, new testimonial and new product demonstration ..

    then a closer for the loop "and now back to how the .. can .. for you.. in just minutes ... see how easy it is to ... "..

    then of course the CTA for that pod .. then on to the next pod.. (segment of infomercial)..

    Great points Michel re book and tv examples... it's all about keeping them engaged and getting the curiosity level so high they have to see the resolution ... unfinished compelling thoughts and hooks are great for keeping the pitch alive..

    ken calhoun
  • Rolf Klaudiussen
    Michel, great article!

    Would it be possible to get a peek at the copy you wrote for the stock trader who underwent surgery?

    Yeah, keep 'em coming!

    Rolf Klaudiussen
  • Unfortunately, I can't. The copy was rejected by the client who objected to this approach. (No, not because the story was untrue, since it was true. But because it was too aggressive for him.)

    It was a bad decision, I believe, and one many marketers make. Gary Halbert said it best: "Don't worry about offending the dogs when you're trying to selling the foxes."
  • Hi, Michael ...

    Great article about creating nested loops in copy writing.

    I am trained at the Master's level in NLP (NeuroLinguistics Programming) and the same concept is used by NLP trainers/practitioners in professional speaking.

    We use nested metaphors/stories to feed the main message of our talk directly to the subsconscious mind (where there is no resistence) ... which means much more rapid change in the individual.

    And, like you said, the subsconscious mind will find the "lesson" and make the linkages when there is no closure.

    Don't ask me why but I never thought about using that nested loop concept to sales copy. I use many other NLP techniques in copy writing, but not that one.

    Thanks for open up my marketing eyes :)).

    Warmly,
    Denise Corcoran
    The Empowered Business (tm)
  • In the radio business, we called it a "tease"... and the master of the tease was (and still is) Casey Casum.

    How many of us have hung on through the commercials because Casey said, "Comin' up, the rock star who just can't get enough green M&M's... and the crazy way she likes to use them... when we return to the countdown..."

    Good article, Michel.
  • As I read your article, I was reminded of reading Dean Koontz's books.

    I often plowed through them—not because the stories or characters were that good—but because Koontz kept jumping around between three or four different stories... and I just HAD to keep reading to find out what happened next!
  • joseph batoma
    i just like it and would like to be part of this.
  • Bob
    Great Stuff! I can see I have a lot tolearn about writing copy. I see the flow you talk about as I read the affiliate program copy. I think my sales copy is too choppy-needs more ebb and flow with the nested loop idea.

    Thanks for a great blog.

    Bob
  • George
    Good Evening,Mike

    This is my first time, so please, be gentle...

    Yes, I did experience a climax - of sorts. I ran screaming from the room in complete and utter frustration!

    You provided me with yet ANOTHER revelation about the black art of Copywriting. Having recently enrolled in a course with ****, read through their preliminary 'Now - get Started', I managed to write a dozen pages of my first spec assignment.

    Then, of course, I started looking on the web and in bookshops for more information on copywriting. This has proved to be my greatest stumbling block! Every time I read some new insight on "Killer Copy", I'd rush back to my draft. In despair, I'd realise I've been doing it all wrong and no-one with any sense would read past the first line. Re-do. Again.

    Find another article: same story - I'm a complete twit! Why couldn't I see that long copy was better than short copy, as revealed in Secret# 43. Or was it the other way around - as revealed in Secret# 72?

    Somewhere out there, MUST lie the ULTIMATE SECRET SECRET SECRET of TRULY effective copywriting. Surely, the man with the smug, smiling face who has made gazillions from copywriting MUST know THE SECRET! Why else would he smile? Is he off to the Bank? Yes. With my money.

    After re-write #27, I'm almost ready to submit. No, not my copy, but to radical brain surgery. I've booked in for my "F'ree" Trial Lobotomy. Satisfaction guaranteed - if you pay $39.95 for the full transplant - and can remember to ask for your refund.

    A definitive, ultimate answer is needed NOW!

    When I'm in the nursing home, being fed a steak & 3 vegetables through a straw, will be too late. Unless the nurse knows the secret.

    There must be someone out there who can tell me where to find the Ultimate Secret Secret Secret! Give me your mailing address and I'll send you an arm and a leg. Not necessarily mine, as I still need them, but you get the drift....

    My trial lobotomy can wait for a day or two, I think, just in case someone out there has the answer. I continue to live in hope.
  • I love this article, Michel.

    Here's a link to Gary Halbert's newsletter in which he talks about the value of a great hook and uses the Enquirer as an example.

    From his "Boron" series:
    http://www.thegaryhalbertletter.com/Boron/TChapter5.htm

    I think it's a valuable addition to Michel's article.

    Peace,

    - JS
  • This post reminds me of the famous wall street journal sales letter, where the writer wrote about a story of two men who graduated from the same class but ended up at different success levels.
  • I can't believe how valid and perfect this post is for 2009 and beyond...

    Had no clue it was written a few years ago :)

    “Zeigarnik Effect.”?

    I love it... it's like you're spicing up the meal without "killing" it.. lol
  • @Codrut Turcanu - Yup, it was written in 2005. I needed to update it, but it's still true today as it was back then.
  • Thanks for that post. It was very interesting
  • I can't believe you replied that fast, amazing!

    Just learned today that updating the content is a cool way to resuscitate ones blog, great.
  • @Codrut Turcanu - Yep, updating old blog posts is a great way to recycle them and create new traffic.

    Here's a neat tip I use...

    I have a spreadsheet of all my blog posts. I pull out the "staple" posts (posts that are evergreen or can be updated). Each week, I visit one, update it, do an email broadcast about the update, and add it to my autoresponder cycle for this blog. My autoresponder has over 100 days worth of these "blog updates" and keeps driving traffic back to my blog.

    Another important point is to NOT have dates on your posts. Sure, you can have them listed chronologically in the archives, but with evergreen/staple posts, dates are unimportant and can even make them look less relevant and deter readers, even though they are still relevant.

    Just a thought.
  • yeah, you're right!

    hey, that's a neat strategy, but 90% of the bloggers out there
    don't know it exist, or how to do it themselves.

    a great info-product idea, want we co-author such? :)

    btw, is there any plugin you're using for not showing up
    the date in your posts for such "evergreen" tips?

    I'll try this myself ASAP.
  • Hi Michel,

    Very many thanks for your article. It is a good hook itself. Any fiction, off the top of your head, that comes with a mix of mission, serious but still fun, punchy (however you call it), and yet has affection for the characters?

    Cheers!

    Jesucita
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